So, Here we are folks. I am on day "it doesn't even matter, it's been so fucking long" 145 of finding a job with ZERO luck.
It's sad. It's hopeless most days. It's a feeling of utter despair and huge fucking fear. It's knowing that very, very little separates you and your children from being homeless.
Yet, there are these people. these people whom you have NEVER met face to face. These people who feel your struggle, KNOW your pain right down to it's core...people for which I can never say thank you enough. Thank you isn't even a real statement at these times. You know who you are...countless people have prayed, chanted, given suggestions, run with me, send msgs of hope and laughter, shaken chickens, and various other good juju things my way. Some of you have sent me things. Paid for things. Helped me in ways I am not deserving of but incredibly grateful for. You, this page of people have rallied around me, loving me, hoping for me, carrying me when I cannot go on another minute.
In all of this all I can do to repay and say thank you is to live it. What does that mean? That means to honor all of you. To practice what I preach. To be kind to strangers. To go to meetings and stay sober. To pull my head out of my ass and find solutions...even painful ones.
I am grateful....I am honored to know all of you.
Love you guys...
baby. I won't say anything but I love you and keep on going. You are needed and loved and appreciated. ODAT. You know what I really want to say, right? We got this. We do. I promise.
ReplyDeleteI don't really know you more than what I see on Facebook but I love you and want you to know that you have impacted me so greatly and you've finally given me the courage to at least try. I never really wanted to try (I have a secret demon) until I started following you. So, keep your chin up, you got this.
ReplyDeleteI feel you girl, oh how I feel you. Xoxox
ReplyDeleteWe've never really met, but love you too x My philosophy is that shit happens to all of us, when we're up we should pay it forward, and then hope that karma is real in the moments we're down. Keep that chin high my friend x
ReplyDeleteSqueezy Hugs. xo you know I got your back..and I know you've got mine. Love you girl!
ReplyDeleteI don't know how I missed this. You are strong, beautiful and amazing!!! Good things are coming your way I just know it. Chin up and keep plugging away! Love, hugs and smooches!
ReplyDeletewow....how much do I love this entry, and you! You are worht every bit of goodwill you receive.
ReplyDeleteI love you so much it hurts...and whether you realize it or not you inspire people everyday. You work hard to be healthy...that inspires me. You try so very hard to raise your girls despite their sometimes teenagery a-hole-ed-ness...that inspires me. You are sober despite these ridiculously trying times...that inspires me. And you are the measure of a good friend...and THAT inspires me most of all.
ReplyDeleteGeez, I love you. 4 years ago my husband got laid off and I was a stay-at-home mom. I know that fear of, "What the frick am I going to feed these kids?!" or crying when the electric bill comes. I have been there. You are an amazing woman setting an incredible example for your girls. <3
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