Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Why I don't talk about it....

I have been questioned quite a bit lately as to why I do not blog more or talk more about my drinking days and how and what happened to get me here to sobriety.
I understand curiosity. I ask a zillion questions, and not because I am rude, it's because I am teachable. I need to see how others have done A,B,C....no matter what abc are. make sense? I understand the need and desire to hear other people's stories.
The thing is, it's all too raw yet. Too real. Too painful to share. Every time I sit back and think "ok, I can do this today, I can write about what happened when I passed out on the kitchen floor in front of my 2 and 3 yr olds" but the breakdown that happens...I cannot let the thoughts continue. I end up in a very very bad place.
So, slowly, if you stick with me on this journey, I will be writing more, as it gets easier and easier to feel the pain involved with sobriety. The incredible damage I did to my precious girls.....


  1. who's rushin ya mama? each day as it comes i say. I mean, I'm still not ready to even BEGIN to discuss Blowjob A or Random Encounter B from 20 years ago. each to its own fuckin time.

    you know what matters today? TODAY. that is all. and knowledge that we all love you. ;)

    *ass slap*

  2. Baby steps Tripping, baby steps. No rush from me... just a big smooch.

  3. First I want to tell you that I love your blog and look forward to following along.
    This post really hit home for me, and please believe me when I tell you that I can relate to exactly how you are feeling. You do not have to answer to anyone but yourself about your life, your journey and what you have been through. If and when the day comes that you are ready to share your story, it could be a wonderful thing to do, but only if you feel ready to do it. Just take it slow and don't feel pressured by anyone or anything. Take it slow and live for today, that is all you really have to do.

    I hope you have a wonderful week full of love and happiness.

  4. We are here...and we aren't going anywhere. And when you're ready to make that leap and share your hurt, we'll be ready to be your soft place to land. I love you so much and I know its hard. The beauty of this blog is its all about you. You call the shots. You say "when". Hugs, babe. <3

  5. if you dont ever want to talk about it, don't. Leave it in the past babe, unless YOU want to get it out there because it is therapuetic for you. You are defined by who you are right now, which is an awesome person.

  6. I love how real you are. Makes it a little easier to be okay with myself. Go easy.