Despite the title, this is not a 'bag on the ex' session. This is the story, the quickie version of where we are at today.
We met as kids, got married, had kids, built a home far from family, made bad choices, ignored each other, slept apart, stopped having sex, went to therapy, left therapy, hated each other, I had an affair, he had his affair with everything but another woman....I drank, he drank, we struggled, we hated, we were awful.
17months ago, I moved out. I took my kids, packed up in front of him, and walked out. Got an attorney and filed for divorce. Being the stubborn ass that I am, I was hell bent on making it on my own.
We fought more, I stopped dating, he started. We screamed, hated, cried, made our kids miserable....and one day, last january, my landlord died.
Landlord was deep in debt. His wife took over as did the bank on the property I was living in. I searched and searched with ZERO luck in finding a place to live without breaking our custody agreement and losing my kids to the ex.
With 3 days until I had to be out, no place to live, almost no money, EX called me. He said..."Sam, you and the girls are going to move back in here. We will agree on rent, and we will make it work."
I can sit here and question Ex's motives until the day I die. I like to think he did it for the rent, cuz, well, I'm a spiteful bitch. But I believe he did it because deep inside, he loves us. We TALK now. We listen now. We laugh. We smile. We are kind. We are co-parenting. Our girls are happy. His one selfless act brought together what never should work....
I'm not saying everyone can do this....but it's working for us. Both of us are clear we are not good as a couple. I'm just so grateful we can be friends.